<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>you’re my guiding lightning strike by deoxyribonucleotide</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27604628">you’re my guiding lightning strike</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deoxyribonucleotide/pseuds/deoxyribonucleotide'>deoxyribonucleotide</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>ah, verse-moi l’ivresse! [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Day6 (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Bands, Crushes, Developing Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Misunderstandings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:29:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27604628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deoxyribonucleotide/pseuds/deoxyribonucleotide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Younghyun likes Sungjin. Sungjin seems to like him too. He wonders if there’s anything more to it or if he’s meant to write songs pining after Sungjin forever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Sungjin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>ah, verse-moi l’ivresse! [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you’re my guiding lightning strike</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I miss sungbri, so here is some sungbri. </p><p>DAY6 OT5 are still a band in this AU but they’re college students instead of idols, mostly because I love the band dynamic but don’t want to delve into the dicey dealings and politics of the idol world. I have a ton of ideas/random little scenes for this AU, so I’m going to come back and write more things.</p><p>Title from Muse’s <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/114rzL6VEy9bb3amPcY3tw?si=uUGo6s1aQ0OB1Tm7QnaT7Q">I Belong To You (+Mon Cœur S’ouvre a ta Voix)</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jae’s eyes scan the sheet music Younghyun has just handed to him. “A love song again?”</p><p>Younghyun huffs. He’d let Jae read his lyrics to get some critique, but this isn’t the kind of judgment he was looking for. “And what about it?”</p><p>“Nothing, honestly,” Jae says, holding his hands up in easy surrender. “<em>Deep in love, you tell me with your gaze. Deeper, deeper, deeper, I fall into you so naturally</em>.” He sighs, fixing Younghyun with a sympathetic look. “This is cute, but man, do you have it bad.”</p><p>Younghyun knows. He’s had it bad for something like two months now, and everything he writes turns into a love song halfway. Jae would know; he’s usually the one Younghyun turns to for a second opinion. Wonpil is a close second, but the thing is Wonpil’s a hopeless romantic who likes every love song regardless. Dowoon is a far third, but only because he gets shy about critiquing others and Younghyun doesn’t want to put him on the spot.</p><p>He could always ask Sungjin, of course. But although Younghyun is a thrill seeker, even he knows that that is cutting it too close. After all, every love song he has written recently was about Sungjin.</p><p>“You’ll have to tell him sometime, you know,” Jae says. There’s something like worry in his eyes. “You can’t keep writing love songs about him forever.”</p><p>“I can, actually,” Younghyun replies, laughing. “Maybe I plan to. I don’t think I can survive it if I <em>confess</em> and he turns me down. And the band, hyung. I can’t let anything happen to the band.”</p><p>Jae, ever the voice of reason, tells him, “You don’t know how he feels.”</p><p>“Yeah, but that’s because no one knows how Sungjin feels.” Younghyun has met his fair share of stoic people in his life, but Sungjin was an especially tough nut to crack. “He could hate me for all I know.”</p><p>“Nah, nah,” Jae says, offering Younghyun a relaxed smile. “Give Bob a little more credit here. Sure, he can be a little tight-lipped, but he’s honest where it counts. If he had a problem with you, he’d tell you.”</p><p>Somehow that only makes Younghyun feel worse. He tells Jae this and Jae, the asshat, laughs.</p><p>“Chin up, Bri,” Jae says, handing the sheet music back to Younghyun. “I’m sure you can figure it out. Smart guy like you, it’s only a matter of time.”</p><p>Groaning, Younghyun asks, “Why does that sound more like an insult coming from you?”</p><p>“Oh, I meant it in the best way possible,” Jae says airily, getting up. “I’m gonna grab some food from the store. Want anything?”</p><p>“A sandwich and a coke would be great,” Younghyun says. His gaze falls back on the sheet music. Is he being a little too obvious here?</p><p>“The lyrics are great,” Jae assures him. “They’re fine the way they are.”</p><p>Younghyun still agonizes over them until Jae comes back.</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>The band had been Jae’s idea. Younghyun just got swept up. The night Jae broached the topic had been just like any other Friday night—the two of them were at their favorite bar, several drinks in and just going on about how terrible their respective weeks were.</p><p>Noticing their bottles had run empty, Younghyun volunteered to fetch them another round of drinks. When he returned, Jae had looked at him with an uncharacteristic seriousness and said, “Hey, why don’t we start a band?”</p><p>“A band?” Younghyun repeated. He set the ice-cold bucket down on their table. “Why?”</p><p>“Just think about it!” Jae insisted. “I know how to play the guitar. You know how to play the bass. We both know how to sing—and <em>no,</em> don’t you deny it, I’ve gone on enough noraebang trips with you to know you’ve got a great set of pipes! We look for a drummer and maybe a keyboardist and then we’re fuckin’ set. We’ll take over this town, Brian.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Younghyun recalls having said. His major was a slog in and of itself. He didn’t know if he could make the time for a band—or if he had any time to make in the first place.</p><p>But starting a band sounded nice, honestly. Younghyun was at that point of his college career where he wanted to dive headfirst into anything that could give him something to look forward to. “I’ll think about it,” he added at length.</p><p>“Don’t think, just do,” Jae had said mock-sagely. He popped the cap off two bottles of Tiger and handed one to Younghyun. “And drink!”</p><p>When Younghyun went home that night, the idea didn’t leave his mind at all. Neither did it leave Jae’s for that matter, because the next time they met it was all that they could talk about.</p><p>So they’d committed to it—okay, committed to it as much as any two broke college-age boys could commit to anything. Younghyun bought new strings for his trusty bass and Jae got a friend to design them some ads to post on the university’s notice boards. The short of it was that they got the keyboardist and drummer they wanted: Wonpil, a sophomore from the College of Education, and Dowoon, a freshman from the College of Music. The full story is that they got Wonpil first and then he apparently badgered his childhood friend/most willing victim Dowoon into joining the band with him.</p><p>Anyway, Dowoon did end up liking Jae and Younghyun, which was nice, and that was how the first incarnation of the band came together. They were all from different majors, which made it hard to find a common time to meet, but when they did, they were always productive. Younghyun and Wonpil wrote the lyrics, while Jae and Dowoon composed. They all sang though, and it was that which Younghyun liked the most—how all their voices came together in an interplay. It made his heart sing too.</p><p>But a month after the band’s inception, it became clear that there was still something missing. Four people singing and playing instruments should have been enough, but it wasn’t.</p><p>Jae must have noticed as well, because one practice session, he’d said, “Hey, do you guys think we need another guitarist?”</p><p>“Kinda,” Wonpil answered. “I mean—no offense to you, Jae-hyung. I just think it’d be nice to have a little lead guitar/rhythm guitar thing going on.”</p><p>“I think we need another voice,” added Dowoon.</p><p>“That, too,” sighed Jae. “I’ll put another ad up.” And that was that.</p><p>The next practice, Jae had with him a very handsome stranger, one who was wearing a truly fatal combination of leather jacket, white shirt, and ripped jeans.</p><p>This stranger, as Younghyun would later come to know, was Sungjin.</p><p>At the time of their meeting, Younghyun went through what he would describe as the opposite of an epiphany. What did he mean by that? It’s this—by definition, epiphanies were realizations that came lightning fast and lodged themselves in people’s brains. Epiphanies meant connecting the dots. They made someone feel smarter for having figured things out.</p><p>But god, when Younghyun saw Sungjin for the first time, the only thing he felt was stupid. All the thoughts in his head fled like tenants in a building on fire.</p><p>And then Jae had to say, “This is Sungjin. He’s a psych major. He answered our ad for another guitarist.”</p><p>And Sungjin had to smile shyly. Like he had reason to be shy with a face like that. “Hi, I’m Sungjin.” Speaking directly to Younghyun, he asked, “What’s your name?”</p><p>Younghyun had been too tongue-tied to say anything. Thankfully, Wonpil came to his gracious rescue. “Hey, hyung! I’m Wonpil! This is Younghyunnie-hyung, and that’s Dowoonie in the back getting water.”</p><p>“Hi, guys.” Again, there was the smile. It made Sungjin’s dark eyes look warm and lovely. Then, with utmost sincerity, he added, “I’m looking forward to working with you!”</p><p>Younghyun might have already fallen in love back then. Just a little, not too much.</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>For something that was the brainchild of a drunken whim, the band ends up becoming one of the best parts of Younghyun’s college life. They aren’t <em>super </em>big or anything, but they’ve played at a couple of bars and always made more than they expected to. Jae’s friend from the student council, Kevin, had even asked them to play at a local college festival next month. There isn’t a record deal (yet), and the one time they rented a studio to record an album it’d cost them a pretty penny, but they’re doing pretty good in Younghyun’s opinion. Not bad for a bunch of college kids whose practice area was the spare storage room of the Kim family general store.</p><p>A large part of their success, Younghyun thinks, could be attributed to Sungjin’s presence in the group. It was like Sungjin was the one missing piece they were looking for, the extra nudge they needed to get the ball truly rolling.</p><p>Despite being the last one to have joined them, Sungjin naturally became the pillar of the group. Whenever Wonpil was struck by insecurity in songwriting and composition, Sungjin would be there to offer a kind word. Whenever Jae would arrive late because of a class that ran until eight PM, Sungjin would be there to welcome him with a warm meal. Sungjin had even taken Dowoon under his wing after discovering one day that both of them were from Busan, and now practice downtimes were often filled with the brisk syllables characteristic of Busan satoori.</p><p>And to Younghyun, Sungjin is… he’s a friend, obviously, but aside from that he is perhaps one of the most interesting people that Younghyun has ever met. Sungjin is straightforward but careful with his words. Easy to talk to but avoided physical contact like it were the plague. The only person who can keep up with Younghyun in an eating contest. Someone who likes strong teas over coffee and hot chocolate over both. More of a neat freak than any of them had expected.</p><p>Sungjin is handsome with innumerable odd charms, and above all that, he’s simply a lovely human being. Younghyun was destined to lose from the get-go. He was but an artist looking for inspiration, and he found it in Sungjin so easily.</p><p>Fast forward two or so months from their first meeting, and Younghyun has already penned close to thirty songs about Sungjin. He would say that it’s becoming a problem, except that coming up with new material is the exact opposite of a problem. He doesn’t like the heartsick feeling he gets whenever Sungjin so much as laid his eyes on him, but he can admit that it gets him working like nothing ever has.</p><p>Of course, the unusually large volume of work that Younghyun had produced doesn’t go unnoticed. Dowoon points it out, commenting on the mess of balled up papers by Younghyun’s feet whenever he walked by during practice. Wonpil notices as well, and he makes it a habit to hand Younghyun a bottle of water whenever he sees Younghyun hunched over sheet music for too long.</p><p>And Sungjin notices as well—earlier than the rest, actually, because being freakily perspective is another one of those Sungjin Things that Younghyun adores so much—but it’s only after Younghyun comes up with <em>Beautiful Feeling</em> that Sungjin addresses it directly.</p><p>“Kang Bra, I’m really impressed,” he says. He’s seated next to Younghyun, noting important dates on the Planner app on his phone. “You’ve been writing so much stuff.”</p><p>“Ha ha, yeah,” says Younghyun, feeling a little shy. To be honest, he’d like very much to turn away and hide what he’s writing from Sungjin, but that would be a dead giveaway—what reason would he have to hide lyrics from his bandmate?</p><p>“Is this what happens when an artist has an inspiration or something?” muses Sungjin out loud. He puts his phone down. “Who’s the lucky person?”</p><p>“Ah, there’s no one in particular,” Younghyun says, trying his best to seem nonchalant. Trying his best not to say what he has in mind, which is: <em>You, dumbass. It’s you.</em></p><p>Sungjin reaches for the sheet music, one of his brows quirked in a silent question—asking for permission, because he’s just that considerate and careful. Younghyun nods.</p><p>Sungjin takes the sheet and begins reading the lyrics out loud. “<em>Being under the same sky as you, I like every moment we breathe. The word ‘love’ isn’t enough to express this beautiful feeling. </em>Aw, that’s sweet.”</p><p>“Th-thanks, hyung,” Younghyun says, ducking his head to hide his too wide smile. Compliments, when they came from Sungjin, had a way of turning his brain to mush. The opposite of an epiphany, every time.</p><p>Sungjin scans the sheet music for a few more moments before putting it back on the desk. “You really have a way with words, Kang Bra. I like the song. Very pretty.”</p><p>He’s looking right into Younghyun’s eyes when he says the last part and after that, his lips curl into a soft and open smile. Younghyun tries his level best to tell himself it doesn’t mean anything.</p><p>“You’re always working hard,” Sungjin adds—notes, really, by the assessing tone of his voice. “Make sure you still get a lot of rest outside of practice, okay?”</p><p>“Yes, hyung,” Younghyun says, practically preening under Sungjin’s attention.</p><p>The moment is broken when Jae calls out, “Okay, guys, can we have another run-through of the set on Thursday night? Dowoonie wants to make sure he gets <em>Love Me or Leave Me</em> right.”</p><p>The rest of them give out various answers to the positive. Sungjin gets up first, but not before casting another soft and open smile that renders Younghyun useless for a good minute. Once he snaps out of it, he tucks the sheet music into a binder and sets it down on a nearby table.</p><p>As he tunes his bass and configures one of his pedals, Younghyun catches Sungjin staring at him. The look in his eyes is indecipherable. Younghyun gulps against the urge to write another song.</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>In between band practices, though, there is still college to think about. Younghyun tries not to let that depress him too much. Ostensibly his parents had his studies in mind when they sent him to Seoul. They did not send him here to spend Friday nights on bar stages. But that’s what ended up happening anyway, and his parents tell him that as long as he doesn’t fail any subject, he’s good to go.</p><p>So he knows, deep down, that his seven AM Business Finance is a necessary evil. That the breaks spent poring over his notes are the price he pays to free up his schedule for practice. That the exams he takes on a near weekly basis is as much a part of his life as their Friday night shows.</p><p>But knowing all of that doesn’t make it easier. Sometimes, Younghyun wishes that he could follow the example set by some of the people he knows. Wishes he could throw away his studies and devote all his time to what he truly loves. But he <em>can’t</em>, is the thing. He can’t let his parents down just because he wants to lead a musician’s life.</p><p>And so he grits his teeth and works through another incomprehensible problem set, shows up to his seven AM to get his ass kicked in recitation, eats his lunch in ten minutes so he has time to study for a quiz, and gets only six out of ten despite his best efforts.</p><p>It’s fine. Younghyun’s fine.</p><p>“Fuck, Bri, are you okay?” asks Jae the moment he arrives at practice. “No offense, but you look like shit run over.”</p><p>Younghyun chuckles. “Nah, I’m good. Shit could never look as good as I do.” He sets his guitar bag down and retrieves his little binder of sheet music out of it. “What are we on for tonight?”</p><p>Sungjin shrugs. “We’re supposed to run through the setlist for next week’s show, maybe fine-tune the verses from <em>Time of Our Life.</em> But jeez, Kang Bra, that can wait. You look terrible.”</p><p>“I’m fine, hyung,” says Younghyun. He rifles through his binder to find the right page.</p><p>Sungjin takes the binder from him. “I’m serious, Younghyun-ah.” He really is. He never calls Younghyun by his name, and the sound of it is enough to make Wonpil and Dowoon look up from their playful arguing. “Missing a practice won’t kill us, and we still have a week ‘til the show anyway. How about we cancel practice for tonight?”</p><p>“I’m good with that,” says Jae. Their two youngest members voice their assent as well.</p><p>“Awesome,” says Sungjin. “Let’s slow down a little bit—it’ll be okay. And hey, how about we eat at that ramen joint Kang Bra likes? Is everyone game?”</p><p>“Shit, it’s been so long since we last ate there,” Wonpil murmurs, his eyes going glassy. “Yeah, hyung, let’s go!”</p><p>“I sure could use some tantanmen right now…,” muses Jae. Behind him, Dowoon makes a hopeful little noise.</p><p>Younghyun can only relent. “Okay, fine. No practice. But Sungjin-hyung, you’re paying for my tonkotsu ramen.”</p><p>He doesn’t actually expect Sungjin to agree, but he nods. “Sure, Kang Bra. Is that all?”</p><p>Younghyun hums. “Some karaage would be nice. And maybe some gyoza, too—with that ginger dipping sauce on the side.”</p><p>As he speaks, Sungjin mimes taking his orders like a waiter at a restaurant. “Alright, that’s on me,” he says, flipping the imaginary notepad shut. “Whatever you want, Kang Bra.”</p><p>“Whatever?” asks Younghyun, cocking a brow. “Do you mean it?”</p><p>Smiling indulgently, Sungjin says, “Try me.”</p><p>“Alright, that’s enough flirting,” Jae says, making Younghyun jump. “You two are going at it like ping-pong. I’m <em>hungry,</em> let’s go!”</p><p>Sungjin just laughs, the sound of it lovely and bright.</p><p>They take their usual spot when they get to the restaurant, and Sungjin makes good on his promise, reciting all of Younghyun’s orders from earlier. Because he is the nicest person Younghyun knows, he even buys all of them drinks.</p><p>The table falls into casual conversation once the waiter leaves.  Quite easily enough, Younghyun sheds his troubles for the day and all his anxieties about tomorrow and just—exists. Simply and easily, in the company of his closest friends. He’s lucky to have friends with whom talking is uncomplicated, even rejuvenating.</p><p>The food helps to take his mind off things, too. There’s a reason why they love this place so much—their servings are big, their prices not so steep, and their food? Their food is the best. Younghyun tunes out Jae and Wonpil arguing for shits and giggles, focusing solely on his ramen instead.</p><p>“How are you feeling now, Kang Bra?” asks Sungjin. The whole dinner, he’d quite obviously observed Younghyun, attuned to his every move.</p><p>Younghyun swallows down the noodles before saying, “Bit better now, hyung.”</p><p>Sungjin grins. “That’s good to hear.”</p><p>They probably overstay their welcome, hanging out for a good twenty minutes after they finish all their food. They feel so guilty about this that they each give a sizeable tip. Just as he’d promised, Sungjin pays for Younghyun’s food, even the extra serving of noodles that Younghyun got. (Who could blame him? He got hungry after bad day.)</p><p>By the time they leave the restaurant, it’s already nine. They say their goodbyes and go their separate ways—Wonpil flagging down the first taxi he sees, Jae heading east to the train station, and Dowoon the fitness nut going to the parking lot to retrieve his bicycle. This leaves Younghyun and Sungjin, both of whose apartment buildings are close enough to the restaurant that they can afford to walk home.</p><p>The silence that envelops them as they walk is heavy but comfortable, like a blanket.</p><p>After some time, Younghyun says, “Thanks for that, hyung. For the meal. Everything.” He kicks a loose stone as he walks, hands in his pockets.</p><p>“It’s no problem, Kang Bra,” says Sungjin.</p><p>Younghyun pauses briefly. “But it kind of is, isn’t it?” he asks, his voice small.</p><p>“How do you mean?” asks Sungjin, turning to face him.</p><p>“We missed practice today because of me,” murmurs Younghyun.</p><p>Sungjin stops him by a hand on his arm, and Younghyun starts like he’s been electrocuted. Sungjin never initiates physical contact with anyone.</p><p>“No, Younghyun-ah,” says Sungjin firmly. “We didn’t miss practice today; we took a well-deserved break. All of us. I told you, didn’t I? It’s okay to go slow.”</p><p>“But if we don’t get the song right….”</p><p>“We will.” Sungjin sounds absolutely certain.</p><p>“How do you know?”</p><p>“It’s just one night,” answers Sungjin, shrugging. “Like I said, it’s not going to kill us. And anyway, I believe in the band, so I don’t worry about us.” He goes quiet for a moment before saying, “I worry about you, though.”</p><p>“Me? Why?”</p><p>“Because you work so hard,” starts Sungjin, frowning. “Don’t get me wrong—I really admire you for that. But honestly, sometimes I wish you’d ease up a bit.”</p><p>“Huh.”</p><p>“Yeah. Honestly….” Sungjin lets out a soft laugh. “Sometimes I wish I could take more care of you.”</p><p>That brings Younghyun up short, big time. He doesn’t know how to respond to that at<em> fucking</em> all.</p><p>Sungjin must take his silence for discomfort, because he says, “I know, I know. It’s weird, right? You’re one of the strongest people I’ve met. But you’re so hard on yourself, so it makes me think—if he doesn’t want to take care of himself, I wish he’d at least let <em>me </em>do it.”</p><p>There is nothing that can explain this aside from Younghyun having died. Yes, he must have tripped, hit his head on something, and gone to heaven. But when he pinches his arm really hard, the pain is enough to remind him that this is reality.</p><p>“It’s really weird, right?” asks Sungjin after a moment. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“No, no, it’s fine,” Younghyun rushes to correct. “You’re fine. I think—you’re really nice, Sungjinnie-hyung. You’re always looking out for me. For everyone, actually.”</p><p><em>I love that the most about you, </em>he thinks in the small space of his mind. But perhaps it’s too much, too honest for this time, and so before the thought leaves his lips, he changes it to, “I really appreciate it.”</p><p>“You do? That’s good to hear.”</p><p>The streetlights lay bare the warmth in Sungjin’s gaze. Younghyun’s eyes, the traitors that they are, involuntarily home in on Sungjin’s lips. They are the slightest bit parted.</p><p>The two of them are standing so close, Younghyun realizes, and Sungjin still hasn’t let go of his arm. It would be so easy to just lean in and….</p><p>A black sedan suddenly materializes next to them, and the loud honk it makes as it zooms past jolts them so bad their elbows knock into one another.</p><p>They keep an arm’s length between them after that. Younghyun focuses on the asphalt crunching beneath his shoes. Sungjin starts to hum something that sounds like an Urban Zakapa song.</p><p>“See you tomorrow, Kang Bra,” Sungjin says all of a sudden. When Younghyun looks up, he notices that they’re already at the street corner where their paths diverge.</p><p>“See you,” Younghyun says back. He watches Sungjin go.</p><p>While walking home, Younghyun wonders if they were truly about to kiss then, or if it had just been a trick of the light. Sungjin is long gone before he can even think to ask.</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>Their next few practices give Younghyun quite a bit of hope, though.</p><p>Sungjin has always been attentive, but lately Younghyun feels as if he’s been on the receiving end of the other man’s kindness more often than usual. It’s in the little things Sungjin does—helping Younghyun fit new strings onto his bass. Bringing Younghyun snacks from the storefront. Looking out for Younghyun whenever they walked home together.</p><p>Sometimes, Younghyun would even catch Sungjin staring at him, and he can’t think of a plausible explanation as to why it keeps happening. When he asks Jae if he has something on his face, Jae tells him no every time.</p><p>Maybe this is going somewhere. Maybe this won’t be just an idle dream.</p><p>It’s this hopefulness that guides Younghyun when he takes to writing lyrics again. The words—those of confession, of feelings that are sure—flow from him effortlessly.</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>Younghyun is hanging out with Youngjae, a friend from his department, when something puts a dent in his optimism.</p><p>This is one of the rare times he doesn’t have to study for anything during lunch break, so the two of them decide to make a trip to a café close to campus. This café proudly served burgers and drinks that they claimed were “American style”—Younghyun doesn’t know what this means exactly, but their half-pound cheeseburger is to die for, so he just ignores it.</p><p>They’re halfway into lunch when Youngjae taps him in the shoulder. “Hey, Younghyun-hyung, isn’t that your Sungjin-hyung?”</p><p>“He’s not my anything, Youngjae-yah,” replies Younghyun patiently, but he does look up at Youngjae’s insistence.</p><p>It is Sungjin, Younghyun discovers, looking awfully soft and casual in a long-sleeved black sweatshirt and blue jeans. With Sungjin—or to be more accurate, hanging on to Sungjin’s arm—is a woman Younghyun has never seen before in his life. She’s pretty, with long auburn hair and intelligent eyes, and the way she’s holding Sungjin tells Younghyun that they’re not simply friends.</p><p>He loses his appetite immediately. But he can’t look away.</p><p>Unfortunately for him, he and Youngjae are seated close enough to the counter that their staring doesn’t go unnoticed. The woman next to Sungjin catches sight of them, and then stands on her tiptoes to whisper something into his ear.</p><p>Sungjin turns, greeting them with a bright smile. “Oh, Kang Bra! Hi!”</p><p>“Hi,” replies Younghyun. It comes out sounding rather wilted.</p><p>“And… I know your name—it’s Youngjae, isn’t it?”</p><p>Youngjae nods. “Yep. Hi, hyung.”</p><p>“Hi! Guys, this is Jamie,” says Sungjin.</p><p>“Hello,” says Jamie brightly. Her eyes meet Younghyun’s. “Oh! This one is Younghyun-ssi, right, oppa?”</p><p>Sungjin pauses. “Yeah, Jamie, that’s him.”</p><p>“Sungjin-oppa’s told me a lot about you,” Jamie informs Younghyun. She has somewhat of a Cheshire cat grin on her face.</p><p>“All good things, I hope,” replies Younghyun with a nervous laugh.</p><p>“Oh, definitely,” Jamie answers.</p><p>Sighing, Sungjin says, “Play nice, Jamie.”</p><p>Jamie puffs her cheeks out. “Oppa, I wasn’t even doing anything. Anyway, our orders are here. It was nice to meet you!”</p><p>Once they leave, cold drinks and burgers in hand, Youngjae turns to Younghyun. “Dude, I didn’t know your Sungjin-hyung was going out with someone.”</p><p>“I didn’t know, either,” says Younghyun honestly. With a hollow sort of feeling in his chest, he realizes that there’s actually a lot of things he doesn’t know about Sungjin. Sungjin might be easy to talk to, but he had a way of turning around every question addressed to him. Getting him to open up was like trying to pierce a rock with a toothpick.</p><p>Youngjae hums in consideration. “They must’ve started dating pretty recently, then.”</p><p>“Yeah. Probably.”</p><p>Lunch proceeds normally after that, but the encounter stays with Younghyun until he’s tucked into bed for the night.</p><p>He’d really thought there was something going on between him and Sungjin. All the things he did for Younghyun, all the times that he cared….</p><p><em>Ah, shit</em>, Younghyun thinks to himself. <em>So it had really been a “just friends” type of thing, huh?</em></p><p>Maybe the worst part is that Younghyun isn’t too surprised. He should have seen it coming. He probably <em>would</em> have seen it coming, had he taken off the rose-tinted glasses he wore where Sungjin was concerned. Sungjin is just the type of person to care like that for everyone, because he’s Sungjin and he’s unerringly kind and sweet despite his seemingly gruff demeanor.</p><p>Still, it doesn’t hurt to seek confirmation. One final nail in the coffin. When Younghyun next sees Jae, he asks, “Does Sungjin-hyung have a girlfriend?”</p><p>Jae looks up from his political science readings. “Not that I know of. What’s up?”</p><p>Younghyun explains the situation at hand to Jae. Maybe he sounds more distressed than he thinks he does—Jae’s voice when he speaks is heavy with sympathy. “Yikes. That’s rough, Bri. I don’t know. Doesn’t Sungjin have a sister?”</p><p>That’s news to Younghyun. “Not that I know of, either.”</p><p>Their theorizing on Sungjin leads them absolutely nowhere, given that they know next to nothing about Sungjin anyway.</p><p>Why does Younghyun have to have a crush on the most secretive man he knows? The feelings were bad enough already, and now he has this to deal with, too.</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>But Younghyun sees them together again, this time at a convenience store, and that raises more questions than it answers. He doesn’t get the opportunity to say hi this time—or more honestly, he shies away from the opportunity despite it presenting itself. Sungjin and Jamie are standing too close for his comfort, so he minds his own business and leaves as soon as he can. It’s what Wonpil would call “running away,” probably, but what he doesn’t know won’t kill him.</p><p>He could chalk it up to anything else. Younghyun supposes that there are a million plausible reasons to explain why he keeps seeing Sungjin with Jamie. Sungjin, being the private person that he is, just didn’t see the need to tell Younghyun. Maybe Jamie is a classmate with whom Sungjin has a shared project. Maybe Jamie is just a friend of his from the psych department. Maybe Jamie knows Sungjin through an organization or the student council or something.</p><p>But Younghyun passes by Sungjin’s apartment building one night and sees the two of them walk in together, and all the theories fly out the window. Why the hell would they be entering Sungjin’s apartment building together? And at night, too? It’s simply something that Younghyun’s theories cannot explain away.</p><p>As he turns the key to his own apartment, he thinks of something Jae had told him about before: Occam’s razor. The simplest explanation is usually the correct one. His heart sinks.</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>When Younghyun meets Sungjin during their next practice, he has trouble meeting Sungjin’s eyes. He can’t seem to muster his usual talkative spirit as well, and he answers the older man’s questions with clipped replies that don’t leave much in the way of conversation. It’s not Sungjin’s fault or anything—Younghyun just becomes cold when he’s dealing with heartbreak. It isn’t anything Sungjin can be specifically blamed for.</p><p>Band practice goes well in spite of this, because Younghyun and Sungjin are mature adults who set their differences aside when it comes to work. This is an exaggeration, obviously, because what truly drives Younghyun to be kinder is Dowoon. Judging by the kicked puppy look on his face, he’s likely noticed the shift in mood between the two of them, and it’s something Younghyun can’t abide by at all.</p><p>Sungjin might be his love, but Dowoon is their baby. If it hurts like hell to sing a love song about someone who is taken, Younghyun just pushes the feeling aside.</p><p>Over the course of their next few practices, things between Younghyun and Sungjin don’t get worse. But that doesn’t mean they get any better, either.</p><p>Sungjin is obviously hurt by Younghyun’s unsociable demeanor, and the rest of the band is starting to question it as well. Younghyun doesn’t want to tell them why he’s being like this—he has a feeling it might make things worse—but at the same time, he feels so guilty that he resolves to do something about it.</p><p>Underneath all this crap about unrequited love and mushy feelings, Sungjin is still Younghyun’s friend. He can’t just start treating his friends horribly for things that aren’t even their fault.</p><p>So what he resolves to do is get laid after their next show. This is what he calls “bedroom therapy.” Once he sleeps with someone new, or perhaps multiple someone new’s, his brain will reset to a state where it can only process Sungjin in a platonic light. Bedroom therapy has never failed Younghyun before, and he doubts it would fail him now.</p><p>“So your plan is… to sleep with someone else to get over Sungjin-hyung?” summarizes Youngjae.</p><p>“Yep,” Younghyun says.</p><p>Youngjae shrugs. “Oh well. Whatever works, works.”</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>The band has their show tonight, and when Younghyun arrives at his apartment to drop off his things and change, he decides to wear something real sexy. On normal nights, he just throws on whatever he usually wears, trusting he’s got enough swagger to elevate the outfit. But this won’t be a normal night if he has anything to say about it; he has to get over Sungjin quick before his heartbreak jeopardizes their friendship and/or the band. That plan requires someone else to do the horizontal tango with and finding someone else will be easier if he looks like sex on legs.</p><p>He shows up to the bar in a low-cut silk shirt and black skinny jeans. When Jae sees him, he lets out a low whistle. “Dressed up today, aren’t cha?”</p><p>“Of course,” Younghyun says, tossing his head back. What can he say? He knows he’s one sexy motherfucker.</p><p>Tonight’s show is in a bar that’s larger than their standard fare; it has both a workable stage and a sizeable dance floor/mosh pit in front of it. Although they’re the second to the last to perform, they waste no time getting ready in the backstage. This, too, is larger than what they usually work with. It makes it easier for Younghyun to avoid Sungjin as much as he can—which isn’t a lot, obviously, since they’re from the same band, but Younghyun has to <em>do </em>something. He buys everyone a round of beers to help them loosen up and goes for another round just because.</p><p>When they head out of the backstage and into the spotlight, the cheers of the crowd are near deafening. Anticipation and energy simmer in Younghyun, making him feel like a bottle rocket seconds from launching into the sky. He shares a look with all his bandmates—yes, even Sungjin—and senses the same electric feeling burning in all of their gazes.</p><p>It’s go time.</p><p>The first song of the night is <em>Freely,</em> a staple that has everyone jamming by the time it concludes. <em>Sing Me</em> comes after that; something magical happens every time Wonpil hits that chorus. Everyone is dancing and having a good time, including the five of them on stage. Younghyun makes sure to show off his best moves—it’s not every night that he gets into the mood like this. Song after song the energy only ratchets higher, until there’s only one left before the end of their set.</p><p>“Thank you so much for having us here tonight,” Jae says into the mic. He chuckles bashfully when he receives a <em>We love you, Jae!</em> in reply. “This is something we’ve been working on for a while—it’s called <em>Time of Our Life</em>. We think you’ll love it.”</p><p><em>Time of Our Life</em> starts deceptively tranquil with Wonpil’s fine fingers on the piano riff, but when the guitars kick in the song truly comes alive. Add to that the frenetic but precise beats of Dowoon’s drums and the music of their voices, and Younghyun knows what they have now is something special. If he’d been a bottle rocket about to launch before, now that he’s singing this song with the people he loves right beside him, it’s like he’s in the stratosphere.</p><p>They kill it. The song, the set as a whole, the night. Of course they fucking do. As the song winds down and their time ends, the feeling of invincibility never leaves Younghyun’s heart.</p><p>All of them clear out the stage after their set, and save for Dowoon, take their instruments with them. When they get to the backstage, the happiness pours off them in babbling waves—</p><p>“Oh my god, did we really just do that?”</p><p>“We did so well!”</p><p>“They loved it; they loved the song!”</p><p>“I’m so fuckin’ proud of us, guys!”</p><p>Younghyun agrees. This show—and all the ones that had come before it—is proof that starting this band might be the best thing he’s ever done in college. Perhaps even his entire life. He’s sweating like mad and he needs water more than a beer and he’s going to crash later and wake up at noontime tomorrow, but he doesn’t give a damn. Show nights have that effect on him.</p><p>But tonight is not just a show night, it’s also Younghyun’s ticket out of his feelings for Sungjin. So he breaks away from the band once they’ve hugged all their feelings out and heads to the bar to find someone to have fun with.</p><p>He finds someone suitable in the form of Jaebeom, who is a friend of a friend (Jinyoung) of a friend (Wonpil). Jaebeom is handsome in a cool, unaffected kind of way, with an intense gaze and lips always on the verge of a smirk. It’s not the first time Younghyun has noticed Jaebeom making eyes at him, and Jaebeom’s even hit him with a line once or twice. Usually, he’d just put it out of mind. Tonight, though, he thinks he can—and should—give in.</p><p>“Nice show, hyung,” Jaebeom says, his voice a tone of invitation usually reserved for the bedroom.</p><p>Younghyun leans on the counter, exposing more than a bit of his chest through the cut of his silk shirt. He’s delighted to find Jaebeom’s eyes are riveted to it. “Glad you liked it, Jaebeom.”</p><p>“Want some shots to celebrate?” asks Jaebeom. “They’re on me.”</p><p>Younghyun nods his assent. Who is he to refuse a pretty man?</p><p>Like this, they fall into an easy conversation. Jaebeom keeps getting them drinks and Younghyun falls for the way his eyes shine under the bar lights. They’re flirting, obviously, because you don’t buy someone drinks to make friends with them, but Younghyun rather likes it. Likes how casual and cool it is.</p><p>It’s so much easier with Jaebeom, because at least Younghyun actually knows where he stands with him. It’s nothing like how it is with Sungjin, who sometimes blows hot one moment and cold the next. Nothing like Sungjin, who seems to be interested despite not even being available. Jaebeom, for a fact, is single—he’d told Younghyun as much two weeks ago—and he knows what he wants. Younghyun just so happens to want the same thing.</p><p>But he must be drunker than he thinks he is, because when he stands up to follow Jaebeom he actually stumbles a little, having to steady himself on the grimy counter.</p><p>“Whoa,” Jaebeom says, a hand on his arm. “Are you sure you’re okay, hyung? I think you had a little too much to drink….”</p><p>“I’m fine, babe,” says Younghyun, although the syllables come out more slurred than he likes. “Come on. Your place or mine?”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I don’t think I should be doing this…,” Jaebeom replies. His eyes are wandering—not all over Younghyun, but rather around him. “Nothing against you, of course! It’s just—you’re really drunk, hyung.”</p><p>Younghyun sits back down. His head is pounding already, and the pain is compounded by Jaebeom’s rejection. “I get it,” he says, pouting.</p><p>“I’m really sorry, hyung,” Jaebeom repeats. It should be a consolation that he sounds sincere about it, but all it does is make Younghyun feel more miserable. God, he needs another drink. “Maybe next time, yeah? Right now, I’ll just—I’ll find someone you know, okay? Please stay here for a while.”</p><p>After Jaebeom leaves, Younghyun calls the bartender up again for another shot of vodka. Or three. He figures the abject drunkenness would make him feel better. Failing that, it would at least make him feel numb.</p><p><em>What a night, this night,</em> he thinks to himself after gunning down the shots in quick succession. With this much alcohol in his body, he floats past the headache point of intoxication. Instead, the drinks he’s had manifests as a warm glow pulsing through his veins.</p><p>The counter doesn’t seem so grimy anymore when Younghyun touches it. So he rests his forearm there, using that to cushion his forehead. He feels so comfortable in this position that the next logical step is to close his eyes.</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>When Younghyun wakes up, he’s in a stranger’s bed.</p><p>The throbbing in his head stops him from sitting up or otherwise moving, so he does his best to scan his environment while still lying down. The bed he’s on is modest in size, all the sheets and pillows a pristine white. On the nightstand to his right he finds a single blister packed Advil, a glass of water, and a picture frame. The picture there is that of a young couple holding a small child, and while Younghyun can’t recognize them, their features do remind him of someone he knows.</p><p>He looks around some more. By the door he finds a coat rack with a familiar baseball cap sitting on its highest rung. In one corner of the room stands a black, heavy-looking guitar case. Everywhere he looks—the organized shelf holding a variety of psychology books, the desk with a neat corkboard hanging above it—points him to an obvious conclusion.</p><p><em>This is Sungjin-hyung’s room,</em> Younghyun realizes with a sickening lurch of his stomach. It has to be Sungjin’s room, because it being someone else’s doesn’t make remotely any sense.</p><p>But the fact that he’s in <em>Sungjin’s room</em> doesn’t make any sense, either. The last thing he remembers from last night is Jaebeom leaving him to go look for Jae, or something. He hadn’t even seen Sungjin after their performance.</p><p>More to the point, Sungjin is straight and he has a girlfriend. Do they not live together? What would Jamie feel when she finds out Sungjin’s brought someone else home? Of course, it’s not that he and Sungjin even<em> did </em>anything—but if she’s the jealous type, Younghyun’s presence alone would probably anger her.</p><p>These thoughts are too much to work through without any sort of assistance, so Younghyun pops the blister pack and swallows the Advil down with a gulp of water. Thinking his dry throat likely needs it, he finishes the whole glass.</p><p>When his head stops spinning so much, Younghyun stands up. He makes the bed out of courtesy, fluffing the pillows up and tucking the covers in as best as he can. Then, walking like an extra from a zombie film, he makes his way out of the room.</p><p>What he finds is a scene domestic enough to make him weep: Sungjin is stood in front of the stove, humming to himself as he whips up pancakes. He’s wearing a sky-blue apron on top of his sleep clothes—because <em>of course</em> he’s wearing a fucking apron, Younghyun can’t catch a break—and when Younghyun pays enough attention, he notices it’s actually <em>Beautiful Feeling</em> that Sungjin is humming.</p><p>With a practiced push-and-pull of his right hand, Sungjin expertly flips the pancake he’s cooking. It makes a satisfying sizzle when it lands. Turning, Sungjin’s eyes widen in surprise when he sees Younghyun.</p><p>“Oh! Kang Bra. I didn’t know you were already awake.”</p><p>“Just woke up,” Younghyun says. His voice is still a bit hoarse.</p><p>Sungjin frowns. “Do you need more water?”</p><p>Before Younghyun can even say “It’s fine,” Sungjin is already pulling the door of the refrigerator open, getting a pitcher of water, and pouring him a glass.</p><p>After draining it, Younghyun says, “Hyung, the pancake.”</p><p>“Hm?” Sungjin flips it again. It’s perfectly cooked, like all the other pancakes stacked on a plate by Sungjin’s left. “See? It’s fine. And anyway, if it’d burned, I’m fine with having it. You can have the others.”</p><p>It’s then that Younghyun realizes with an awful clarity that he might be in love with Sungjin. This stupid, unfailingly kind, and unfairly handsome man. Younghyun has to take a seat at the table lest his legs give out.</p><p>“I’m sorry this is all I have, by the way,” Sungjin says. “I was too busy to get groceries this week.”</p><p>“It’s alright,” Younghyun replies. Sungjin could serve him sawdust and he would savor every spoonful. The thought is horribly distressing.</p><p>In a while, Sungjin finishes cooking, and he brings to the table the carefully stacked pancakes as well as a bottle of maple syrup. After setting them down, he retrieves the butter from the refrigerator and two little spreading knives from a drawer. He’s not done being a gracious host, it seems, because he doesn’t even let Younghyun get his own food, readily serving him up two pancakes before getting some of his own.</p><p>It’s a quiet breakfast, the only sound being that of cutlery clinking against plates, until Sungjin clears his throat—loudly and rather obviously. Younghyun looks up.</p><p>“Yes, hyung?”</p><p>“Younghyun-ah,” Sungjin starts. The given name again. Alarm bells start to ring in Younghyun’s head. “Are you going out with someone right now?”</p><p>The question catches Younghyun so off-guard that it takes him a moment to respond. “Huh? N-no?”</p><p>“You don’t sound so sure,” says Sungjin, a small smile on his face.</p><p>“Ah, but I’m really not going out with anyone, hyung,” Younghyun says. <em>In fact, </em>he thinks to himself, <em>I haven’t wanted to go out with anyone for two months. Except you.</em></p><p>Sungjin considers his answer for a second. “What about Jaebeom, then?”</p><p>Younghyun winces. “You know Jaebeom?”</p><p>“Yeah. He’s a bio major, so I’ve had a few classes with him before.”</p><p>“We’re not a thing,” Younghyun replies quickly. “We’re not anything.” <em>I was just kissing him because I wanted to get over you—</em></p><p>“That’s good, then,” says Sungjin. And then he stops. And then he shovels a too large piece of pancake into his mouth.</p><p>Younghyun, for his part, is caught off-guard yet again. “Why would it be good?”</p><p>Sungjin pauses his chewing. Swallows. “Um. I apologize, I shouldn’t have said that—”</p><p>“No, hyung,” Younghyun insists. “Please tell me. Why would it be good?”</p><p>Sungjin visibly steels himself before saying, “Y’see, Younghyun, I’ve liked you for some time now….”</p><p>Pause for a sec. Younghyun can’t believe this is happening. If someone had told him a month ago that the Park Sungjin would be confessing to him over breakfast, he’d have laughed himself sick. Don’t get him wrong—it’s honestly amazing to hear that from Sungjin. The veritable fireworks going off in his chest mean that he’s far from unaffected by Sungjin’s words. But given what he’d seen over the past week, Younghyun feels more scandalized—and angry—than flattered.</p><p>“I never would have taken you for a <em>cheater,</em> Sungjin-hyung,” he grinds out, struggling to keep his voice even. “But I guess some people just aren’t what they seem. So… thanks, but no thanks.”</p><p>“What, Younghyun? What?” Sungjin’s eyes are comically wide in his shock.</p><p>“Your girlfriend…?”</p><p>Sungjin’s wide-eyed shock gives way to an expression of utter disbelief. “Younghyun, I am literally gay,” he says. “What girlfriend?”</p><p>“Er.” Now it’s Younghyun’s time to feel distinctly wrongfooted, like he’d jumped into a swimming pool only to find the water colder than expected. “Who was that noona I saw you with all the time this week?”</p><p>“Who are you talking about?” Younghyun sees the moment recognition clicks in Sungjin’s head. “Jamie? Kang Bra, she’s my <em>cousin.</em>”</p><p>Okay, so this isn’t like jumping into a pool that’s colder than expected. This is like jumping into a pool and discovering it actually has <em>sharks</em>. “Oh. Oh my god.”</p><p>“Did you really think she was my girlfriend?” Sungjin asks, shaking his head. “Jamie moved here a week ago; I’ve been helping her buy stuff for her apartment.”</p><p>“I see….”</p><p>“That’s why I’ve been a little busy,” explains Sungjin, “Jamie just got here, right, so she doesn’t know a lot of people yet. I suggested that she get a place in the same building as me, so that if she needed help with anything she could just swing by. And Kang Bra, honestly, noona? She’s younger than you, dude.”</p><p>“I.” Younghyun is dying. He is dying and he wants to die. “I am so, <em>so</em> sorry.”</p><p>“It’s fine. I guess it would’ve seemed that way since I never did tell you about Jamie,” says Sungjin. Despite the lingering embarrassment on Younghyun’s part, Sungjin at least seems to have loosened up. He’s relented the tight grip on he’d had on his fork and his drawn-up shoulders have relaxed. “But look, here. If you were thinking I had a girlfriend, you’re wrong. I don’t.” He spares a glance at Younghyun, and likely sensing the question on his mind, he adds, “I don’t have a boyfriend either, in case that’s what you wanna ask next.”</p><p>Struck by a sudden bolt of courage, Younghyun says, “We can change that, actually.”</p><p>“Oh? We can?” Sungjin’s lips gains a teasing little curve at their edges.</p><p>“Yeah,” Younghyun says. It’s still surreal to think about, and even more surreal to say it out loud, but he pushes on. “You like me. I like you too. So….”</p><p>Still looking very pleased with himself, Sungjin repeats, “So?”</p><p>“Hyung,” whines Younghyun, “you’re really gonna make me say it?”</p><p>“Just so I’m sure we’re on the same page here,” says Sungjin, shrugging. “I’m single, okay? In case you missed that.”</p><p>“Jerk,” Younghyun snorts. “Be my boyfriend, then? Let’s go out tomorrow.”</p><p>“Sure, Younghyun,” Sungjin says. “I’d love to go out with you.”</p><p>Younghyun whoops. “Awesome. It’s a date, hyung!”</p><p>At this, the teasing curl to Sungjin’s lips grows to a full-blown smile, possibly wider than Younghyun has ever seen. In the morning light, Sungjin’s eyes sparkle like jewels. It’s a devastating sight. Younghyun makes sure to let Sungjin know—because he can do that now. He doesn’t hold himself back.</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>It’s funny how nothing immediately or obviously changes in the light of Younghyun’s confession, and yet things are undeniably different from there on out. Younghyun feels a lightness, something that sets all the butterflies in his stomach aflutter whenever Sungjin did anything. It could be a simple smile, a text message sent, or a touch of his hand; everything Sungjin does has such an effect on Younghyun.</p><p>The best part, though, is knowing that he’s not alone in feeling this way. Sungjin’s a bit more obvious, actually; his ears go red whenever Younghyun did anything verging on romantic.</p><p>They’re watching a National Geographic show one afternoon, something about the migration patterns of birds in North America. Okay, maybe that isn’t the best way of putting it—Sungjin is watching the show because he’s a nerd. Younghyun is just cuddling with him.</p><p>“Actually, hyung,” starts Younghyun once they get to a commercial break, “I have something else to say.”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>Younghyun draws in a breath, slowly releasing it while he counts to three. “You know those songs I wrote?”</p><p>Sungjin shifts. “Yes?”</p><p>“They were about you,” admits Younghyun in a small voice.</p><p>There’s a small pause. Someone on TV says something about plants in the Amazon.</p><p>“Yeah,” Sungjin says. “I kind of figured that out.”</p><p>“H-hyung?” sputters Younghyun. “How did you….”</p><p>“Let’s see,” begins Sungjin, thinking.</p><p>Crap, had Younghyun been that obvious? The way it sounds, Sungjin already has a mental file of all the times his feelings showed through. He is never going to live this down.</p><p>Sungjin asks, “Remember that time we got trapped under a waiting shed while there was a rainstorm?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Jae told me you wrote <em>Pouring</em> after that.”</p><p>Feeling embarrassed, Younghyun mutters, “Ah, shit.”</p><p>“And that time I missed a string of practices because of my exams…,” Sungjin adds. “When I came back, you’d written <em>When You Love Someone.</em>”</p><p>“Oh.” Younghyun was transparent, alright, but if Sungjin knew…. “Then hyung, why didn’t you say anything?”</p><p>Sungjin hums. “Well, I thought they were about me, but that didn’t mean they definitely <em>were</em>, right? Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. I thought I’d just wait for you to make the first move.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Ducking his head, Sungjin mumbles, “‘m not as brave as you. I can’t write songs about someone knowing they’d be singing it.”</p><p>God, he’s so cute. Younghyun wants to bundle him up in a little blanket burrito, but he also wants to make out with him until they both run out of breath. Younghyun compromises in a way by straddling Sungjin’s lap, cupping his face with his hands, and peppering it with small kisses—on his forehead, his eyelids, the tip of his nose, his lips.</p><p>“Aw, hyung,” Younghyun coos, “don’t worry about that. If you wanna try doing it in the future, that’s alright too, but right now? I like you just as you are.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Younghyun can’t have Sungjin thinking he’s anything less than perfect. “You’re amazing, warm, kind, handsome, cute; you have a wonderful voice, an <em>amazing</em> ass—”</p><p>Sungjin shuts him up with a kiss before he can say anything else. “Okay, okay. I get it,” he says, his chuckle tickling Younghyun’s lips.  “Alright, now get off me, the show’s starting again and I wanna watch.”</p><p>Younghyun pouts. “Hyung. Forget about me getting off you—” He pitches his voice lower, heavy with promise—“how about I get you off?”</p><p>He doesn’t miss the way Sungjin’s breath hitches, the way his grip involuntarily tightens around his waist.</p><p>Sungjin licks his lips. There’s an interest in his gaze that isn’t veiled at all. “Oh, Younghyunnie, if you so insist….”</p><p><br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p><p>On their next practice session with the band, Younghyun and Sungjin walk in holding hands. Younghyun tries not to look too pleased about it, but the grin on his face is rather telling.</p><p>Jae looks up at the sound of their conversation. His eyes scan the two of them,  landing first on Younghyun’s smiling face, then on Sungjin’s red ears, and finally on their interlocked fingers.</p><p>“Oh,” he says tonelessly. “You two finally get your act together? Took you long enough.”</p><p>“Shut up,” mutters Younghyun, rolling his eyes. Beside him Sungjin laughs softly.</p><p>Noticing their arrival, Wonpil shuts his laptop before joining them. “Ooh, looks like we got a hot new item here,” he says, waggling his eyebrows ludicrously. He’s recently started hanging out with Jae more and as a result he’s started to pick up his hobbies, one of which is terrorizing Younghyun. “Got any new songs for us, hyung?”</p><p>“None yet, I’m afraid,” Younghyun answers. The past few days he’d spent most of his free time talking to Sungjin and marveling at the fact that they really were together now. He and Younghyun were an actual couple. It’s a fact so amazing he hasn’t dared yet to put it in writing.</p><p>“Boo,” Wonpil says, blowing a raspberry. “But that’s fine. All the stuff you wrote while you were pining for Sungjin-hyung? Man, that’s gonna last us forever.”</p><p>It’s at this point that Dowoon looks up from his drum set. “Wait, all those songs were for Sungjin-hyung?”</p><p>Younghyun and Sungjin share a look between them. “Yes,” Younghyun affirms.</p><p>“Nice one,” says Dowoon, shooting finger guns at him.</p><p>“Okay, okay, we’ll talk about this later,” says Sungjin. It’s nice that he’s put a stop to it here, because their practice time would have devolved into a gossip session if he hadn’t. “We still have a gig in two days, so we need to practice.”</p><p>“You heard him, kids,” Jae says, getting up and stretching like a very long cat. “Fun time’s over.”</p><p>“<em>Bo-ring</em>,” singsongs Wonpil, but he does assume his seat behind the keyboard.</p><p>While they all tune their instruments and clip sheet music in place, Sungjin shoots Younghyun a sidelong glance. The warmth of it makes Younghyun’s heart race. </p><p>“So,” Sungjin starts, voice pitched solely for Younghyun, “no new songs yet, huh?”</p><p>Younghyun punches him in the arm. “Yeah, yeah. Keep looking at me like that, hyung, and I might write a whole fuckin’ album.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DAY6 songs mentioned in the fic: <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/0DzB1tFmtrW5PU8tX9XijW?si=y10fPHsoQre9Lc3kRQntZw">Deep in Love</a>, <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/5Sl8fL5jXQiH0uwgyTIX0B?si=YXP3eOYgSGuqFbSHOP2SLw">Beautiful Feeling</a>, <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/7F9HWeJf4BTUzpj3B0CQKT?si=1NoEKFFkSYyDoIkst6DfuA">Love Me or Leave Me</a>, <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/21BoUOSvHlXgcEhiA4T1nA?si=Iy3j7SaBSWalZJNJYeKpuw">Time of Our Life</a>, <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/5aFpaxepI6hgmh2wu6SxsT?si=Tn4mUqP0Rdu1R92hxr1WxQ">Freely</a>, <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/2MTAYq10tjeT0WENobAidu?si=sdcKyXfQSAOYTLKBXar4LQ">Sing Me</a>, <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/7MXBdYJtCIZfqjsiK62pt5?si=V4nM5Eb1SKOzy3rwbPfYWg">Pouring</a>, <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/66kaQ6mH75Gt2KQjVnNmR2?si=cSafOzghRuiKOoknoFNEyQ">When You Love Someone</a>. I took some liberties in translating lines from the first two songs in this list, so they might not match what is written on some sites.</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>